Last week I had said this coming study was going to be intense. Well I'm not sure intense was the right word to describe it. Slap in the face is more appropriate or it was for me anyway. God had my number and He kept calling until I answered.
This week I walked away knowing that I have to let go of all my sin, anger, bitterness, jealously, selfish ambition, and pretty much all the other sinful natures listed in Galatians 6:19-21 before I can ever think about taking the next step forward. Now this isn't something new to me. I know that I have to let it go but it was something that Beth said in her video that really got my attention. She said "nothing sin can give us is worth what it is taking from us."
For me, I wear my sin as badge of disgrace. I hold on to it so I know never to go down that path again. I relive all those moments where I followed the flesh/world instead of the Spirit just as a reminder. And every time I relive those moments I feel worse and worse about myself and who I am as a Christian. I'm realizing that reliving those moments and constantly thinking about them is only hindering me from becoming closer to God. It is pushing Him away and I can never really give Him my full attention because I am constantly living in the past.
One of the first things I'm going to have to learn is to have a daily prayer session before I even start my day, no matter how early 5:30 comes, confessing my sins and accepting forgiveness. To tell God what's on my mind and tell Him what my hopes and desires are. Beth says we need to pour out our thoughts so that God can pour in His Spirit. To remember that "if I'm full of myself, I can't be full of the Spirit."
My hope is that you are already well ahead of me in this aspect of you life and that you start you day off with God. I'm getting a little better about it. Sometimes I spend my whole shower talking to God depending on if I'm coherent enough to think.
I guess I need to take a small step back. I got ahead of myself a little already taking about be filled with the Holy Spirit and didn't really go into Day 1's study of who the Holy Spirit is. Umm this has pretty much always been a mystery to me. Growing up I never fully got the concept, just assumed all 3 were different. But actually after reading The Shack I got a better understanding of how all 3 work together are all 1. Now I know that book was fiction, but I'm a visual person so it helped me understand better that its the same person playing 3 different roles and Day 1 helped me fully understand the Holy Spirits role. It just amazes me how complex this is yet so simple!
I guess I missed the memo of you girls loving to break out into song, so I have posted on my favorite songs that I found on YouTube. It gets me every time and I even cried like a baby this morning in church when we sang it! Poor Brent, I'm not sure he knew what to do with me!
Have a wonderful week ladies!
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First of all, I love your choice of song. I have trouble singing it without crying myself. This week was definitely laying the ground work for the fruits of the Spirit--and I got several slaps in the face myself. One point Beth made on Day 2 that once again tapped me on the shoulder was "we are as filled with the Holy Spirit as we are YIELDED to Him and controlled by Him." Just a reminder to me that I stifle the Holy Spirit on a daily basis. Then on Day 3...holding on to my sin and how that affects my relationship with God, another reminder of all the sin I need to confess and turn away from. Also, the point Beth made about being "enslaved to our memories." On Day 4, the fact that "we can't even trust our own hearts," scripture plainly states in Jeremiah that our hearts are deceitful. And yet what we hear from the world is to "follow our hearts." That makes me just stop and take a look deep within. Then to close the week on Day 5 reminding us that Surrender to the Holy Spirit is a daily choice and also that the spiritual life is just not going to come naturally. But, these words of encouragement and support that..."when we walk in the power of the Spirit, it is HE who carries the weight." We don't have to go it alone.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoy reading your comments and how the study is speaking to you as we all grow together in the fruit of the Spirit.